My Purpose

Lent 2013: The Eighth Day I know it's gonna be hard day during the lent season. I commit myself to fast this year. At first I thought, it would be a great moment to reduce my weight. But in the Ash Wednesday Mass it was said, that we must realize, what are actually the intention of our fasting, that we would do. That means, diet wasn't my goal. Finally, after several days passed, I found it, in an unusual way. I found it in a book from Dee, called "Supernova: Petir", on my way to school. One of the character, Ibu Sati said a quote from a bible, Matthew 6:33

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.".

Somehow I know, that it is my purpose of my fasting in this lent season. Life keeps turning. People and people will come and go. But God was, is and will be always around. I see, hear and feel Him, whenever and wherever I let Him to involve with my life. Knowing Him help me to find out, why I come to this world, what actually God's plan for me in my life. I'm sure, it's gonna be tough, because we still have about 42 days left. Something deep inside of me motivates me and says, "Keep doing it". Oh dear God, help me, please.

Writing for you

Every night i sit down in front of computer and think about something, I want to write for my self.  Writing soothes me. Actually I began writing, since a couple days ago, not a long time, right. I read a quote from Dewi Lestari's book "Madre", that writing can be a medicine. And it's true. And so far it works like a charm, good for me. It helps me releasing my stress and expressing my thoughts. It's so nice knowing that I pay attention to myself, to something inside of me. Some part of me become happy or maybe I feel relieved, that they are now heard. I pay attention to them. 

Writing helps me thinking and realizing that I'm still alive right now and had the chance to meet my beloved ones today. It makes me feel grateful. How my life tomorrow no one knows. Like Enya said, we, people are pilgrims, who take their journey in this world. How it's going to end is not the mission, not the destination is the main thing, but the journey. Every day i'm going to find, who I really am. And I hope, writing will help me through this "I know, i'ts gonna be hard" journey to get to know me better and to know the reason, why i was born. It definitely take a long time. At the end, that's what everyone look for for the rest of his life. 

Enya - Pilgrim

May our journey in this world be wonderful. 

May God guide and bless us all. 

A New Year, A New You

Is it really that simple? 

It's already the fifth of January. Five days almost pass by. 

Did something change in my life? I don't thing so. I don't feel the NEW me. Well I must say, that i enjoyed 2012. I had great times with myself, my family and my friends. At the end of the year I felt grateful for things that happened in my life, not only happy, sad, boring but even confusing times 
But inside my heart or my head, I don't know for sure, which part of me, keeps asking, how I m going my life this year. Because I know with my own experience with all the new year's resolution, it's not going to work. At least for me. In the next few weeks I'll forget them. 
That's why I decided to keep doing things, that I (must) like and enjoy 

1) keeping in touch with the loved ones and keep doing things together with

    and for them

2) spending my time alone and remembering all things that just happened

3) doing small things with a smile (tidying my "chaotic" room, cleaning dishes,

    cooking, ...

4) listening to music, while looking at the beautiful sky full of clouds or stars 

    and listening to the rain often

5) taking a walk more often / doing Sport :(

6) ... (i don't know, but soon i'll find out someday. I'll still have 360 days 

    ahead)

7) keep trying to do thing 1 to 6 again and again

I just hope, I can have a great life in this 2013. And then I can find out, at the end of this year, i realize, how i change, i become a new me. (I keep my finger crossed!)

Changes can't just happen overnight. So i must be loyal and disciplined doing those 7 things. I believe, life (I will read it God) will guide us, show us the way. I don't know, how my life will be tomorrow next week, next month. Will my life go like as i plan it now or not?

At the end of year 2012, someone said this, what St. Augustine once said: 

"Entrust the past to God's mercy, 

the present to His love, 

and the future to His providence." 

And Dee (Dewi Lestari), in her book, Madre wrote:

" Hidup telah menunjukkan dengan caranya sendiri

bahwa aku senantiasa dipandu.

Tak perlu tahu ke mana ini semua berakhir.

Bagiku, itulah keajaiban yang kucari ... "

Dear Life, 

Please surprise us! Challenge us! Let us new things from you! 
Come what may. In the end we'll find our self better, the new us. I hope, my life this year will be a great journey and in the end i can say to myself, like Constantine P. Cavafy  in his poem Ithaca once wrote: 

"So wise you have become, of some experience" 

May God bless and guide us all.