I'm addicted to you

My cellphone

Yes,  to my cellphone i'm addicted. 

Most of my free time I spend with my beloved smart phone. Since about six months ago it becomes one of important thing, things that I can't live without.

With my cellphone I can

• send texts,
• make a phone call (I do it seldom though),
• listen to my favorite songs (every time, everywhere, when the battery allows me),
• check and send E-Mails 
• get in formations faster,
• check weather reports,
• take pictures and edit them,
• wake up because of the alarms,
• read online newspaper, comics and books
• use my English, Indonesian or German dictionary,
• remind me of my friend's birthday and other schedule,
• etc.

The most important thing that my cellphone don't make me feel lonely and make me feel happy and often make me smile and laugh. I can keep in touch with my old school friends. Despite the distance, we feel somehow connected.  But recently, It starts making me feel alienated. I concentrate on things in my cellphone, while I'm with my family and friends. When they're gone, I'm looking for them and start playing with my cellphone. Then my time flies, like turning my hand, and sometimes without having contact with people around me and paying attention to my surroundings. I miss the moment, when I do like interactive interpersonal communication, face to face communication. 

Yesterday afternoon I realized the fact, that I'm addicted to my cellphone. I feel a little anxious and worry more, whether I get a new text or E-Mail. Then I decided to turn of my cellphone this morning. I felt and feel better. There are the reasons:       

• I  spend quality time with my parents.

• I do a lots of things

This morning I thought, what I should do today. 

And ...

I end up reading "Petir" from Dewi Lestari, learning to peal potatoes, cleaning my house, washing dishes, learning belly dancing from a DVD, listening to Prambors FM (I never do this for a long long time, maybe for a several year. Then I listened to The Dandees Podcast. They are really funny) and I took a nap. Happy feeling I have after having a two hour nap. Relaxed

• I feel less uneasy, waiting for a reply or a call. 

Maybe what I did today, sounds ridiculous. But  I just realize, I still can not use my cellphone wisely. :( 

I think, cellphone still control my life. Maybe not the cellphone, but the other "world" (the world, that Whatssup, Facebook or Twitter create) It drives me crazy. It's supposed to HELP me communicating with friends in those worlds and forgetting communicating with people next to me. It doesn't mean that cellphone and all those apps have bad influences in life. 

From now on, I don't let my cellphone and Facebook, etc disturb me and my work. I learn concentrating on the things, I'm doing right now and on people around me right now. I don't let my cellphone and co. distract me. It's gonna be tough. But It must be done, unless I want them control me.  Like William Shakespeare once said:  

“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.” 

I found this article How To Actively Take Control of Your Time and Your Life. It's easily explained, how we should do and off course not to be done. :)

Good luck, Audrey.  

I ....

How do I feel tonight?
I feel a lot better, after talking with my best friends. 
Thank you, my dear friends :) 

Today was a battle for me, not only because today it's the first school day after a long Christmas and New Year's Holiday. That's why, there were traffic jams everywhere this morning (and later in the afternoon). But also because today I found out my new good friend, is going to leave Indonesia this week. I hope, we both can keep in touch despite the distance. I learned lots of good things from her, especially how she remains calm, although she feel anxious, for example because of the exam or maybe her trip abroad. Thanks God, that I'm able to know her and learn it from her. I hope, she can have a nice flight and wish her luck, whatever she does in the future.

At noon I remembered things, that I wanted to forget. It was so hard to get over it. 
I must realize, that it's not going to be so simple. So easy. I even wished, I could get my brain washed. How silly I was. I'm so ashamed, when i remember that moment.

Tonight 
I feel really grateful. 
For having family and friends around me. 
For experiencing this feelings today. 
For realizing, that my situation (which i thought, it was a problem) isn't harder than other people's I met today. 
And
For finding this article Stress, Jangan Berusaha Jadi Positiv, written by Reza Gunawan.
It told me, that I should accept Stress as a part of life. 


At the end of day ...
I wish, I have a good sleep and ready to face everything that's going to happen tomorrow. 

Every ending is a new beginning. 
Hopefully, tomorrow I can begin dealing with my all my situations better.