Don't Test Me

That's what I think, my dear God told me today. Since the end of 2012 I'm not in good state of mind. I realize, i'm a coward, when it's all about love. I do have a great fear to confess my feelings. For the last several weeks I've tested God' good willing to me by asking for signs. For example: If I got any sign, (like seeing him or even his car by accident, etc), it meant, there were hope. 

Somehow I was inspired by a Film from Meg Ryan called "Sleepless in Seattle" and "Serendipity" a film from Kate Backinsale. In both films the female character believed in signs. And stupidly I used the same way, to test God's Love and Providence in my life. I didn't believe Him. I don't really feel sure, whether I believe Him now. I just hope, He can remind every time daily, that He loves me and I can count on Him. So I will get myself draw near to Him and feel His Nearness in my life. At the end, I get, what He already planed for me and feel great and grateful for it.

PS: 

Here I just found, sixty things, I should be grateful for.