Day 1 - 2014

Day One

This one day is the day, 

the beginning of  a new year

I prayed that God, 

that I have a peaceful, happy day

just like today

Doing things I like

Learning something new

Having solitude and time for myself

Spending time with the beloved ones

I wish, I could 

enjoy my life 

responsible for my work

at the end of the day

feel grateful for being alive

Goodbye 2013. Welcome 2014

What I try to remember every morning, after I wake up and do it every day:

Living in the moment means letting go of the past and not waiting for the future. It means living your life consciously, aware that each moment you breathe is a gift. By Oprah Winfrey. 

It's Time to ...

I just wrote, how I want to forget him. Well it's going to take some time. 

At some point I hate it so badly.

I want to close my eyes, go to sleep, and in the next day I forget about him and this pain. 

Nevertheless it will be too bad to not remember all the things,
that I learned from him and happy moments with him. 

These are my seven songs for tonight: 

1. Offically Mising You  - Jayesslee 

2. My Tears Dry on Their Own - Amy Winehouse

3. If I Could Be, Where You Are - Enya

4. Only Time - Enya

5. Time to Say Goodbye - Sarah Brightman

6. I Will Remember You - Sarah McLachan

7. May It Be - Enya

Motivation to move on. There is hope. 

Hore are the inspiring quotes for this late night:

Come what may!
I believe, I survive this. 

He's Out of My Life

Finally I'm able to understand this song. In my current situation, it will be written

He's out of my life. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

It's sad, but I can't cry it out, like I want to. It's just not enough. And then it's also written

And I've learned that Love won't wait, ... needs Expression. But I learned to late. 

May God bless Tom Bahler, the writer of this song, She's Out of My Life for writing this song, which can express my feeling. Wish I had had the courage at least to tell him.

Life must go on.
I must make a step forward.

I have no Idea, who wrote this. Thanks to you, whoever had writen this.

You don't know, how it helps me. 

We cry over, friends we will never have back, people we once loved, and bridges that have been burnt. But there’s a reason the past is in the past. You only have so much room in your life; save it for people who deserve it. Chances are, if someone’s in the past, they deserve to stay there.

Mar10th 2013

L-O-V-E
What the hell is that
Is it love, when you're happy to be with him?
Or when you miss to see his face?

L-O-V-E 
Should it be confessed?
Or can we keep it for our self?
I think, I choose the second one.

I'm (still) in love with him.
Feeling in love really gives hope, although it hasn't expressed yet.
I used to think, it's so stupid to loving someone, but he never know it or even realize it. 
But now I feel the happiness of hoping my beloved person to reach his dream.
Praying for him will be enough. Knowing that he's happy makes me happy.
I don't put a pity on myself though. I don't feel heart broken. 
Well somehow I get used to it. I can enjoy this feeling.
I'm contented. Knowing I put my love and his future in His hand makes me feel at ease.

Mar10th 2013
I'm glad, I'm falling in love you.

Seven Lessons from Silver Linings Playbook

Last Friday I just watched Silver Linings Playbook, whose lead actress Jennifer Lawrence just won an academy award this year for the best actress. I wanted to watch this movie, because this 22-years old actress. I wonder, how her acting in this movie would like. I realized, that I'm not a good at giving opinions, but I can say, that I like this movie. There are several lessons in this movie for me:

1. Don' judge others
    There's a scene, where Tiffany shared her dark past, and then Pat, whose character played well by Bradley Cooper, brought this thing up. Tiffany said then,

"You are afraid to be alive. You're afraid to live. You're a conformist. You're a liar. I opened up to you and you judge me. ...".

2.  Accept yourselves, especially the bad things

"I was a slut. There will always be a part of me that is dirty and sloppy, but I like that, just like all the other parts of myself. I can forgive. Can you say the same to for yourself, fucker? Can you forgive? Are you capable of that?"

3.  Always looking for the bright side of everything

"If you say positive, you have a shot at silver lining".

4.  Being grateful

"The world will break your heart ten ways to Sunday, that's guaranteed, and I can't begin to explain that, or the craziness inside myself and everybody else but guess what? Sunday is my favorite day again. I think of everything everyone did for me and I feel like a very lucky guy".

5.   Believing in destiny

"True love is about letting her go and seeing if she returns".

6.   Seize the moment

"Let me tell you. You gotta pay attention to signs. When life reaches out with a moment like this it's a sin, if you don't reach back. ...".

7.  Respect others

"Have some respect for what I do".

It's so nice watching this movie, a movie, that inspires me to live a positive and a better life. 

PS: 
I got the quotes from this link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1045658/quotes

Dreams...

Last night I cried a lot. When I think about it right now, why ... I can't tell myself the reason. I really had a good cry. It made me really feel better, although my eyes hurt a little bit this morning.

If we really live really like a pilgrim, how should I run my life. I must say, I'm not a confident person. I often think, that others really have a great life. I often don't feel grateful for things I have in my life. 

Tonight I found a really a motivating website, which help me out, that I can actually find my dreams, what I and my soul really want to do in my pilgrimage in this world. The website is mylife.holstee. There are many confessions from many people about their life, that I'll keep reading them. They help me seeing things in my life differently or at least positively. Here is the poster, that helps changing people. 

Inspiring poster from Mylife Holstee

And then I read an article from academy award winner, Ang Lee, a famous director from A Life of Pi, Crouching Tiger Hidden Tiger, and others films. Ang Lee: A Never-Ending Dream. It's really touching, made me cry. It really proves me, everyone struggles and fight for his dreams. I'm not alone. The feeling of leaving behinds hurts me a lot. It's really a great night, tonight is. 

I am a pilgrim, who try to look for what purpose of my life, why I am in this world.

Hopefully I will find it out in my dreams tonight. :-)

And the mother nature will let me know and let me recognize its signs.